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Children's Book About Preganancy

These two little words can be the most glorious or the most troubling, but either way, your life will never be the same again. Between the morning sickness, the added accumulation of stuff all made for the new addition, or the growing tummy, women are suppose to be glowing and happy. But what about the other things we shove aside because we are suppose to be glowing and happy? Like the hemorrhoids, late-night cravings, swollen ankles and the flatulence? Sure this is all a part of motherhood, but I have to wonder what the world would be like if men had to do the childbearing?


For any women that has ever had a man in her life, we know full well the implications of this little “fantasy.”


A pregnant Woman Lying down on a CouchFirst the violent and predictable morning sickness would put most men in bed for the entire day, where we women are suppose to walk it off and be happy to know we have a little life growing inside of us. However, for some men this would probably just be a bragging right to talk about with the boys, with the vomit’s color, consistency and how far it shot out of his nose or mouth all thrown in for an added bonus.


Cute Little Girl is Talking to the Baby Inside the Womb using a Microphone HeadsetAs the baby grows and develops, women experience the thrill of the first kick…then the sleep deprived nights when baby is restless and keeps pushing on your bladder. How would men handle this? After the initial complaining of the kicks and punches, a man would use this again to impress his friends. “That’s right boys. This ones gonna be a linebacker! Just feel that drive. Just like his ol’ man. Ha Ha…”


Then comes the embarrassment of the…errr…extra gas and the constant trips to the washroom to relieve your bladder. These are all apart of the experience and women have to take it in stride. Men? You guessed it. They are already proud of their bathroom noise, so the more the better. Plus, he could eat all that gassy food and blame it on the baby – at least it would be a nice break for the dog.


Happy Mother With Her Newborn ChildHowever, unlike women, I think once the baby came it might be a little overwhelming for most guys. Women are naturally programmed to be maternal, to hear the babies every little squeak and peep. I’m pretty sure most men would just clamp the pillow over their heads and nudge their wife with, “baby is crying…” Well, there really is nothing to brag about there.


Hats off to all the moms and moms-to-be for the great jobs they do and I hope you got a little chuckle out of this. And for you men…no offense.

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Originally posted 2013-11-01 11:59:08.